a wishlist to be ignored

sometimes it's enough to blog about what's on my wish list and only day dream they're mine.

The Skymra Canvas is a slip on shoe, which strikes the perfect balance between classic and modern style. Offered in lightweight canvas, its oversized elastic straps ensure a secure fit. An embroidered wave detail appears on the medial side of the shoe, in a mixture of blue tones, giving another layer of personality to our Skymra.

Day by day, bird by bird, one by one

If you ask me what my plans are for the future (and if I'm telling the truth) I will reply, "um, no idea. I'm really just trying to survive today." I think about what I have to do, what is overdue, the things I wish I had time to do for fun, and everything kind of shuts down. well, I guess it's more like status blue screen. I can't do anything "productive". in quotes. because at this point the only thing I really know how to do & end up doing is put my face to the floor and pray. sounds pathetic and desperate--and that's exactly it. I'm so desperate for God to fix the mess I've made and redeem the failures I've flunked. it's times like these where I am reminded of how useless and worthless I am without Him. almost depressing if I ended this post here. thankfully He--despite all human sense--accepts me into a relationship with Him where He's got all the deep stuff covered. Jesus makes this piece of garbage (me) like refined gold, precious and worthy to be called His very own likeness. leaves me speechless in a way, but not quite because all of sudden I look and I'm burning. burning to tell everyone that Jesus is the answer. when you're anxious, depressed, poor, lost, hungry, weary, broken, confused, waiting, angry, (and the list goes on), He's the answer. still don't understand? feel free to message me. esthertalks@gmail.com

anyway, the correlation between the post title and the content of this post is that I hear this piece of advice rise out from the muck. just take it day by day, or "bird by bird" in the words of anne lamott. and through these words the Spirit gives me peace.

I will never fully understand His love for humankind. it is too vast, too amazing... too beautiful. dedicating this update to Jesus. I am rejoicing in Him today.

Fight or Flight

reflecting on the passage in Genesis (I love Genesis) where Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. verse 12 (in Chapter 39) says "she caught him by his garment, saying, 'Lie with me.' But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside." I give Joseph sooo much credit for that. not only is he handsome and smart and forgiving and prosperous and trustworthy (etc etc), but he's also so strong in his commitment to making Godly decisions. are there still any Joseph's out there? I wonder.

I want to be like Joseph and run from life's temptation. to stand firm in my convictions to do what is right-honoring God above all.

This is the truth

from my utmost for his highest (rbc.org/utmost/index.php):

February 26, 2010
Our Misgivings About Jesus
The woman said to Him, ’Sir, You have nothing to draw [water] with, and the well is deep’ —John 4:11

Have you ever said to yourself, "I am impressed with the wonderful truths of God’s Word, but He can’t really expect me to live up to that and work all those details into my life!" When it comes to confronting Jesus Christ on the basis of His qualities and abilities, our attitudes reflect religious superiority. We think His ideals are lofty and they impress us, but we believe He is not in touch with reality— that what He says cannot actually be done. Each of us thinks this about Jesus in one area of our life or another. These doubts or misgivings about Jesus begin as we consider questions that divert our focus away from God. While we talk of our dealings with Him, others ask us, "Where are you going to get enough money to live? How will you live and who will take care of you?" Or our misgivings begin within ourselves when we tell Jesus that our circumstances are just a little too difficult for Him. We say, "It’s easy to say, ’Trust in the Lord,’ but a person has to live; and besides, Jesus has nothing with which to draw water— no means to be able to give us these things." And beware of exhibiting religious deceit by saying, "Oh, I have no misgivings about Jesus, only misgivings about myself." If we are honest, we will admit that we never have misgivings or doubts about ourselves, because we know exactly what we are capable or incapable of doing. But we do have misgivings about Jesus. And our pride is hurt even at the thought that He can do what we can’t.

My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says. My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly— "Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."

I am convinced that when God wants you to hear the truth He'll find a way to tell you. there's this verse in Acts... Acts 2:37 that goes "when the people heard this they were cut to the heart". I think I feel that now.

ow.

Earthy design

certainly not taking credit for these photos. discovered them on various blogs today. there are some gorgeous blogs out there, by the way. be inspired :)