Fight or Flight

reflecting on the passage in Genesis (I love Genesis) where Potiphar's wife tries to seduce Joseph. verse 12 (in Chapter 39) says "she caught him by his garment, saying, 'Lie with me.' But he left his garment in her hand, and fled and ran outside." I give Joseph sooo much credit for that. not only is he handsome and smart and forgiving and prosperous and trustworthy (etc etc), but he's also so strong in his commitment to making Godly decisions. are there still any Joseph's out there? I wonder.

I want to be like Joseph and run from life's temptation. to stand firm in my convictions to do what is right-honoring God above all.

This is the truth

from my utmost for his highest (rbc.org/utmost/index.php):

February 26, 2010
Our Misgivings About Jesus
The woman said to Him, ’Sir, You have nothing to draw [water] with, and the well is deep’ —John 4:11

Have you ever said to yourself, "I am impressed with the wonderful truths of God’s Word, but He can’t really expect me to live up to that and work all those details into my life!" When it comes to confronting Jesus Christ on the basis of His qualities and abilities, our attitudes reflect religious superiority. We think His ideals are lofty and they impress us, but we believe He is not in touch with reality— that what He says cannot actually be done. Each of us thinks this about Jesus in one area of our life or another. These doubts or misgivings about Jesus begin as we consider questions that divert our focus away from God. While we talk of our dealings with Him, others ask us, "Where are you going to get enough money to live? How will you live and who will take care of you?" Or our misgivings begin within ourselves when we tell Jesus that our circumstances are just a little too difficult for Him. We say, "It’s easy to say, ’Trust in the Lord,’ but a person has to live; and besides, Jesus has nothing with which to draw water— no means to be able to give us these things." And beware of exhibiting religious deceit by saying, "Oh, I have no misgivings about Jesus, only misgivings about myself." If we are honest, we will admit that we never have misgivings or doubts about ourselves, because we know exactly what we are capable or incapable of doing. But we do have misgivings about Jesus. And our pride is hurt even at the thought that He can do what we can’t.

My misgivings arise from the fact that I search within to find how He will do what He says. My doubts spring from the depths of my own inferiority. If I detect these misgivings in myself, I should bring them into the light and confess them openly— "Lord, I have had misgivings about You. I have not believed in Your abilities, but only my own. And I have not believed in Your almighty power apart from my finite understanding of it."

I am convinced that when God wants you to hear the truth He'll find a way to tell you. there's this verse in Acts... Acts 2:37 that goes "when the people heard this they were cut to the heart". I think I feel that now.

ow.

Earthy design

certainly not taking credit for these photos. discovered them on various blogs today. there are some gorgeous blogs out there, by the way. be inspired :)

Some bad soy chai

Came to a staunch realization that I am much weaker than I thought. and so proceeds this confessional season of mine. this added sense of brokenness is curiously relevant to the current season in the Christian calendar. yesterday marked Ash Wednesday--the beginning of Lent. according to some website google found me Lent is... "a season of repentance and is marked by abstinence, fasting, prayers and also confession." it's almost...convenient that I find myself aware of my sinfulness and the need to repent & confess as of late. assuming that God's up to something particular. my hope is that through these spurts of relentless pain and soul-ache I'll come to know Him more and be sanctified to live in a nearness that tastes like heaven.

God's hands were at work in my day as he orchestrated a little prayer duet between me and a dear friend of mine. our encounter was perfectly timed--of course--because that's simply His style. I ordered a large soy chai at a local cafe with some time to spare before another commitment, and found myself in the most foul mood suddenly--as if something had been exposed from inside the deep. soy chai order was butchered...confused baristas fumbled to fix the mess... I stood impatiently. but because of it my dear friend and I crossed paths and she somehow knew to prod me to go pray in the chapel. as she prayed over me I found my brokenness splattered on the floor and at the foot of the cross. left the chapel sensing some sort of shift in me. more reflection is needed to isolate the words necessary to describe what happened.

blessings to all.

White as snow

In snow thou comest --
Thou shalt go with the resuming ground,
The sweet derision of the crow,
And Glee's advancing sound.

In fear thou comest --
Thou shalt go at such a gait of joy
That man anew embark to live
Upon the depth of thee.

by Emily Dickinson

To my surprise I found snow falling as I turned to look out the window this morning. though most new englanders considers it a great bother to have wet clumps of white soaking into their sneakers or fashion flats (as if they had not learned to buy winter boots), I happen to experience a depth of ecstasy when I see the snow coming down from the sky. snow's instant effect on me is the beautiful reminder that I live for a Creator that gives me another chance to live. and to live better. In Revelation 21:5 he says "Behold, I make all things new." regardless of what I've done his arms are out to receive me again and love me. the blood of Jesus has made me white as snow, so long as I receive him as my Lord and Savior. I should mention that there is the element of confession and turning away from sin in order to fully experience the newness he has to give. and that is where I'm at... in an extended confessional period. I find myself listening to the following hymn song on repeat as if by a certain number of listenings the truth will take root:

What can wash away my sin?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus;
What can make me whole again?
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.

Oh! precious is the flow
That makes me white as snow;
No other fount I know,
Nothing but the blood of Jesus.