Franciscan Benediction

"May God bless you with discomfort at easy answers, half truths, and superficial relationships so that you may live deep within your heart.

May God bless you with anger at injustice, oppression and exploitation of people so that you may work for justice, freedom and peace.

May God bless you with tears to shed for those who suffer pain, rejection, hunger and war so that you may reach out your hand to comfort them and to turn their pain into joy.

And may God bless you with enough foolishness to believe that you can make a difference in the world so that you can do what others claim cannot be done to bring justice and kindness to all our children and the poor.”

Wishlist v.2

1. Slippers. Having hardwood floors make for dusty feet.

2. Twirl Perfume by Kate Spade. Running low on Daisy fragrance by Marc Jacobs.

3. Traveling Mercies by Anne Lamott. Read Bird by Bird and loved it.

4. Eye cream. It's never too early to take care of aging skin. And mine's well past its youthful prime.

5. Body towels. Simply out of necessity.

gorgeous boots.

http://www.threadsence.com/distressed-foldover-lace-up-boots-in-camel-p-2065.html

Sophomore year I was in a voice class where we had to prepare three pieces and perform them in front of each other. One of the pieces I sang was Qui a respexit from Bach's Magnificat. The text comes from the book of Luke and I came across the passage today while I was reading.

Mary's prayer

My soul magnifies the Lord,

And my spirit has rejoiced in God my Savior.

For He has regarded the lowly state of His maidservant;

For behold, henceforth all generations will call me blessed.

For He who is mighty has done great things for me,

And holy is His name.

And His mercy is on those who fear Him

From generation to generation.

He has shown strength with His arm;

He has scattered the proud in the imagination of their hearts.

He has put down the mighty from their thrones,

And exalted the lowly.

He has filled the hungry with good things,

And the rich He has sent away empty.

He has helped His servant Israel,

In remembrance of His mercy,

As He spoke to our fathers, To Abraham and to his seed forever.

so thankful for the prayers that already exist in the Bible. whether it is Jonah's prayer, Mary's prayer, or the prayers of Jesus... there is always something in Scripture to suit our time of need.

love to all

I refuse to live bound by the things of the past. today is a new day.

woke up this morning already feeling scatterbrained. thought to myself, "oh no, this is going to be a bad day." missed my first class, fell back asleep, woke up again only to be late for my next class, got through it, became extremely discouraged during the third class- I was a mess. burst into tears during my cello lesson. mr. neikrug got up, shuffled over to me, which took 5 minutes (even though he was 2 feet away) and patted my head as I cried on his belly. I think the acknowledgment intensified my crying. felt lame for crying at school. went to the bathroom to clean up and made eye contact with mrs. neikrug (amidst tears that obstructed my view) and felt more embarrassed. two hours managed to pass by and finally classes were over. a dear friend (a rare thing) appeared from what seemed to be out of the blue. he offered to buy me coffee. and in that very act I sensed deeply that God was, and is, still taking care of me.

thank
You.

My broken cisterns never could stay filled

today my father turned 61. wish I could be with him to celebrate. my heart is aching with the very thought. I miss him so much my heart wants to burst. this morning, I tried calling him for the first time in three years (since he left). my heart was pounding so hard. he didn't answer. I gave it a few minutes and called again. no answer. it seems that he has already gone to bed. I want to crawl back into bed too.

new thought. the sad thing about blogs, at least for me, is that I feel it's the only place where my voice is heard. when I do choose to speak to others of my aches, longings and so forth, I find it horribly crushing. there is no comfort, no compassion. I am not moved but grieved. I get this sense that people don't want to engage in other people's suffering because they only choose to deal with their own. what a horror.

Jesus save me from this place. I want more than this. I long for relationships filled with generosity, compassion, thankfulness... drawing from the reservoir of Christ's love. where are the saints? who shall run this race with me?